New Practitioner: Looking Deeply Inward

By Xiao Gang

(Clearwisdom.net) I remember when I read Teacher's book, Zhuan Falun for the first time - I resonated with everything that was written and knew that this was what I had been looking for. However, it was only after I began cultivation that I realized how very difficult it was to cultivate and enlighten while in delusion, and that it was not enough to only have good intentions and go by your feelings.

Teacher said,

"...what one feels accounts for nothing. One cannot practice cultivation based on how one feels." (Zhuan Falun)

In the past, I felt good about myself no matter where I was. I felt that I was smart and an independent thinker. Although I didn't show off after I started cultivation, deep in my heart, I looked down on other people. I thought that I was different. I've only recently seen my shortcomings, and after looking inward, I found that these mentalities are what I needed to eliminate.

Every time I read the section on "People with Great Inborn Quality," I thought it was referring to me, and I was happy about that. I ignored criticism and help from other practitioners. During cultivation, my strong personality traits were completely exposed. Teacher didn't bring me here to show off my personality, and this is what I should eliminate. I am so far away from being a selfless, enlightened being.

One day I was buying some snacks and decided to talk to a pregnant woman who worked at the bakery. I told her, "Teach your child well and say to yourself, 'Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.' Then you and your child will be safe." She was very grateful.

When I returned home, I was happy for awhile. I felt that I was very capable, and had saved two lives. I didn't realize that I was experiencing zealotry until I shared this with a fellow practitioner. I enlightened that it is Teacher who is saving people with his grace. Without Teacher's support, what could I have done? What mighty virtue do I have?

I started learning the Fa only recently - less than a year ago. I had a strong feeling that Teacher was urging me to "make up for lost lessons." My fellow practitioners keep sending me other Dafa books, lectures, and articles from Teacher and the "Minghui Weekly" so that I can study them, improve my cultivation, and do the three things well. Even though I am not doing very well, I can feel Teacher's merciful calling.

July 21, 2009

Posting date: 7/31/2009
Category: Truth Clarification to Save Sentient Beings
Chinese version available at http://minghui.ca/mh/articles/2009/7/22/205064.html

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