China Fahui | Once Bitter Life Now Filled with Joy
(Minghui.org) The first ten-plus years of my marriage were uneventful. My husband and I didn’t have much money, but we were content with what we had.
Our life was turned upside down when my husband suddenly developed a psychosis. I found myself as the sole income-earner and the sole caregiver for our two small children, his elderly mother, and him.
When I tried to have my husband take his medication, he thought I was going to poison him and he’d beat me savagely. Not one day passed that I didn’t have bruises on my body.
I soon developed various illnesses and had trouble breathing and sleeping. If not for my children, I would have ended my life.
My struggle came to an end when I began to practice Falun Dafa in 2002. Master Li’s teachings untied the knot in my heart and enabled me to see why I had a bitter life.
Fourteen years have passed since I became a practitioner. There are still ups and downs in my life, but my heart is filled with joy as I walk the divine path under Master’s protection.
Encountering Falun Dafa
One of my neighbors, Mr. Wang, noticed I was in poor health and approached me. “I know a special qigong that is very effective at healing and fitness, but I’m not sure if you would want to try it.”
I was puzzled when he told me it was Falun Dafa. “Isn’t it banned?” I said.
He said Falun Dafa is nothing like what the Chinese communist regime depicted on state-owned television. As a practitioner himself, he had first-hand experience of how good a practice Falun Gong was.
I decided there was nothing to lose by trying this practice. Mr. Wang lent me his only copy of Zhuan Falun and advised me to be careful with the precious book.
I waited until my husband fell asleep that night to read the book. One passage caught my eye.
“There is such a principle in the universe: Ordinary human affairs, according to the Buddha School, all have predestined relationships. Birth, old age, illness, and death exist in this way for everyday people. Because of karma created from past wrongdoings, one has illnesses or tribulations; suffering is repaying a karmic debt, and thus nobody can casually change this.” (Zhuan Falun)
I suddenly understood why I had a psychotic husband. I no longer felt sorry for myself.
In about a month, I managed to read the book three times without being caught by my husband. Mr. Wang then helped me find a copy of Zhuan Falun for my own use.
Back then, the persecution was fierce and it was very difficult to find any Falun Gong books. I cherished my copy of Zhuan Falun very much and kept it with me no matter where I went. Even today I read the same copy.
Overcoming a Major Tribulation
“Someone asks, 'Why do we always have tribulations in cultivation? The problems aren’t much different from those of everyday people.'” (Zhuan Falun)
I understood that my cultivation wouldn’t be smooth sailing, but I prepared myself with Master’s words:
“Let joy be found in hardship.” (“Tempering the Will,” Hong Yin)
“But in reality, what human society takes to be truths are, from the perspective of the cosmos, inversions of truth; when humans go through hardship and suffer it is so that they may pay off karma and thereby have happiness in the future. A cultivator thus needs to cultivate by correct and upright truths. Going through hardship and suffering is an outstanding opportunity to remove karma, be cleansed of sin, purify the body, elevate your plane of thought, and rise in level—it’s an extraordinarily good thing. This is a correct and upright Fa-truth.” (“The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress, Vol. III)
Sure enough, my first big tribulation came when my husband found out that I had been practicing Falun Dafa for some months. He was worried that my practice would cause trouble for our son, who had just joined the army.
My husband hit me with whatever he found in our house. I passed out immediately when an object landed on my back. When I came to, I saw him burning my body with a cigarette. He didn’t stop until he fell asleep from exhaustion. By then, I had blisters all over my body.
I ran out of the house to a neighbor, who rushed me to the hospital. The doctors discovered one of my ribs had been broken.
My neighbor and doctors shed tears out of sympathy, and I recalled what Master said,
“That happens because for those Dafa disciples who obtained the Fa after July 20, 1999, your process of cultivation and your validating the Fa have been merged together. While for those who obtained the Fa earlier, the period of time for their personal cultivation has already passed, and right now their main task is to save sentient beings, the focus has shifted to validating the Fa. The people who entered later and happened to run into the situation of validating the Fa have to do that, too, and at the same time some personal cultivation issues are included in the mix. So you'll feel that certain things appear rather complex, but that's okay, because in Master's eyes things are well-ordered, and if your righteous thoughts are strong there won't be a problem.” (“Fa-Lecture During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference”)
“There will be almost nothing left for you by the time you go through tribulations. Though there is almost nothing left, it is still quite a lot, and you are still unable to overcome it. Then, what happens? It will be divided into numerous portions and placed at the various different levels of your cultivation. They will be used to improve your xinxing, transform your karma, and increase your gong.” (Zhuan Falun)
Master’s teachings were simple yet profound. I was able to let go of my resentment against my husband and even worried about him for having accumulated so much karma.
I soon recovered without hospitalization. I knew Master has borne the majority of my karma, and my gratitude was beyond words.
Spreading the Goodness of Dafa
I went out of town to do odd jobs when my daughter went to college, and we needed more money. During the five years I lived away from home, I took every opportunity to tell people how Falun Gong had changed my life and how the persecution is wrong.
I moved to live with my daughter upon her graduation. In the new city where she worked, Master arranged for me to run into a practitioner at a farmers’ market. From then on I joined the local Fa-study group and often went out with other practitioners to distribute Falun Gong informational materials.
Feeling the Tremendous Joy of Being a Practitioner
I found that there was no place to study the Fa or do the exercises when I returned to my hometown in 2014. My mother-in-law had moved in with us. She and my husband would watch TV late into the night every day, rendering me unable to focus.
I then built a small shed. Since it is away from the main house, there is no climate control. The shed is hot in the summer and freezing cold in the winter, but I had no complaints. Master taught us in Zhuan Falun,
“Indeed, practitioners will say, 'Everyday people have their pursuits, and we don’t seek them. As for what everyday people have, we also aren’t interested. Yet what we have is something that everyday people cannot obtain, even if they want to.'”
I am just so happy to have a place to study the Fa and do the exercises without distractions.
Master also said in Zhuan Falun,
“It has been said, 'When I come to this ordinary human society, it’s just like checking into a hotel for a few days. Then I leave in a hurry.' Some people are just obsessed with this place and have forgotten their own homes.”
I didn’t forget my own home. The bitterness in life is no more. I feel tremendous joy of being given the chance to assist Master with the Fa-rectification and to walk on the divine path.
Thank you, Master!