(Minghui.org) My attachment to zealotry was very strong, and it was hard for me to let go even after I was aware of it. This elusive attachment surfaced many times during my course of cultivation.

Digging Out Zealotry at the Root

I called a police officer a few days ago. He listened to me clarify the facts about Falun Gong for a while. Because he was carefully listening, my attachment to zealotry popped up. I didn't notice the impure notion at first, but soon the police officer became impatient and told me that he would move away from the phone, but I could keep talking. I continued to talk for a few more minutes before I hung up.

In retrospect, I asked myself why he had this reaction. I realized that the root cause was my excessive zeal. Teacher said in “Definitive Conclusion”:

“The desire to show off plus the attachment of zealotry are most easily exploited by the demonic part of your mind.” (Essentials for Further Advancement)

The policeman had been willing to listen to me. That in itself was good and must have been the result of my pure state of mind and my wish to save him. As a result, his knowing side was touched. But once my attachment of zealotry surfaced, he became impatient.

When handing out flyers, getting signatures for petitions or in my day-to-day life, I have often been interfered with by my zealotry. Being attached to it, I was moved by it and treated it as part of myself.

After reading some articles on the Minghui website, I realized that my zealotry is a manifestation of my ego and that it all comes down to selfishness and not knowing how to be humble.

Knowing these things helped me understand what was happening, but I was still unable to suppress and get rid of my attachment.

Facing Criticism

A practitioner blamed me for something. I did not argue with him, but afterward the incident kept popping up in my mind and I developed a lot of resentment towards him.

This mentality also manifested in my day-to-day life. For example, I could endure a lot of hardship, but I could not take being criticized regardless of whether it was in front of my face or behind my back.

After I read Teacher's Fa, I woke up and realized this is wrong. Master said: “You did not hit back or swear back.” (“Lecture in Sydney”). I did not treat myself as a practitioner and I used the Fa to look at others' shortcomings instead of using the Fa to measure and guide myself.

I was self-centered and could not stand it when others' criticized me. I had been protecting my hidden attachments: competitiveness, resentment and the various elements of Party culture in me. I used my human notions and ordinary people's principles to look at things and in a certain way regarded myself as an ordinary person.

When I talked to people about Falun Gong, I could maintain an optimal state of mind. However, when I ran into conflicts, I lost my bearings and treated myself as an ordinary person. During those tests I did not realize that this was the result of my human attachments rooted deep in my mind. As a result of my failure to look inside and correct my bad notions and attachments, I had not met the standard of a true practitioner of Dafa.

Teacher requires us to look inward when running into problems. As a result of not honestly addressing my attachment of zealotry I was still looking outward when running into conflicts. I always noticed others shortcomings but not my own. I could not easily let go of things and lacked compassion for others.

Once I realized how I had fallen short, I quickly corrected myself and learned to truly look inward. I felt ashamed for not having resolved these issues sooner. I felt that I had not done solid cultivation. My experience showed me that it is dangerous to have any attachment.

Thank you Teacher for giving me this opportunity to dig out my hidden attachments and honestly face myself. I was able to see through the part of me that does not comply with the Fa and eliminate it, so that I can be in harmony with the characteristics of the universe, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.