Deeply Cherishing a Second Chance to Cultivate
(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1997. My cultivation path was not a smooth one; I fell down, and I stayed down.
However, Master guided me up again, and practitioners supported me. Each and every test I went through, I had Master's protection and reinforcement. I am deeply grateful for Master's saving grace.
Not Treasuring Cultivation After Obtaining It Easily
Before I began to practice Falun Dafa, my home life was falling apart. My husband had a bad temper. He broke things and threw things around whenever he lost control, sometimes for very trivial matters. Initially, I could only cry because I did not know what to do.
After years of this, I became just like him. When I became enraged, I would not think of the consequences. During one fight, I broke all the windows in our home. I was shocked that my husband had brought out the worst in me. I had turned into a monster.
I once overdosed on drugs in an attempt to end it all. I focused only on my misery and did not think of my five-year-old daughter. I was revived and thought deep and hard about how to change myself to be more patient, forgiving and caring.
People came to our village in 1997 to promote the spiritual practice of Falun Dafa. I learned it and realized what I had been searching for. I began practicing Dafa, and my home became a place for practitioners to study Dafa books and do the exercises.
I made a big turnaround. My health improved, my energy increased, and I was no longer depressed. I worked in the field like a young man and never felt tired. My family became harmonious. I had obtained Dafa, but I did not spend much time reading the books and did not have a solid foundation of cultivation.
When the persecution began in 1999, I went to Beijing to appeal for the right to practice Dafa. I was arrested and persecuted five times as a result. In police custody, I was misled and gave up cultivation in the harsh environment. I fell down and stayed down for the next nine years.
Deeply Cherishing a Second Chance
Master sent a practitioner to me, and we talked for a long time. She helped to answer many questions that I had. I deeply regretted giving up the practice when I could no longer bear the pressure in jail. I made up my mind to restart my cultivation.
When I began practicing again, all sorts of tribulations hit me immediately, but this time I was determined. I kept sending forth righteous thoughts for long periods of time. When I studied the Fa, my husband would turn the television on, and I would listen to the Fa instead.
I had to be especially cautious when I did the exercises and sent forth righteous thoughts at midnight. We lived in only one room, and my husband would throw a huge fit. Whenever he began yelling, screaming, and throwing things around, I tried to stay calm and not react to his rage. One night, as I sent forth righteous thoughts, he suddenly got up and yelled, “I can't deal with this anymore! If you don't go, I will.” He threw the bedding to the ground.
I chose to move into our unheated storage shed. It had rats everywhere and was extremely cold, but I was happy since there would be nobody to disturb my Fa study and exercises. The hardship I went through did not even come close to what other practitioners had endured. Some were tortured, and many were persecuted to death.
When I study Fa teachings, I could not help my tears running down my face. I am so grateful for compassionate Master for giving me another chance to cultivate. The deeper meanings of the Fa were revealed to me one by one. I understood the sacredness of the title “Falun Dafa disciple” and the mission such a disciple carries. We are responsible for all the sentient beings of the cosmos. I also understand why Master cherishes every disciple so much.
My husband wanted me to move back when he came to his senses. I told him that I would disturb his rest and that I was doing well where I was. He went to get a heater for me.
Whenever I slacked off, the environment would change immediately. One day, when my husband wanted to cook dinner, I went over to help. He said he could do it himself. He lost his temper in the middle of this and went crazy again. I heard him throw things around. He cursed and screamed.
He came into the shed and wanted to destroy my Dafa book. I held the book to my chest out of his reach. He became even more enraged and picked up a bench. I faced him calmly and sent forth righteous thoughts towards him, “I will only walk the path Master arranged for me. Nobody is allowed to interfere or disturb me. The Fa rectifies the entire cosmos; evil is completely eliminated.”
I began shouting “Falun Dafa is good!” My husband was dumbfounded and had a complete turnaround. He suddenly raised his fists and yelled, “Down with the Communist Party!”
3. My Path of Cultivation Gets Wider and Brighter
With Fa-rectification pushing forward and my cultivation maturing, my home environment has improved and become more relaxed. I purchased a computer to clarify the truth. I also made phone calls and sent text messages to tell people about the persecution of Dafa.
One day, I received a message back from someone in the Uygur Autonomous Region: “My son is contaminated by CCP propaganda daily. Please help save my son.”
I replied right away and told them that the CCP has committed enormous crimes since it seized power, and that heaven will thus eliminate the Party. I said it was important for those who had joined the organization to withdraw from it. They replied—a son and a father—with their real names and asked for help to quit the Young Pioneers.
Later, two practitioners and I began talking to people face-to-face about the persecution. This was not my strength, because I spoke slowly and sometimes stuttered. After a while, I realized that it was only my notions. As long as I have the compassion to save people, it was Master who truly provided salvation. I might have already missed many of those destined to learn the truth.
The first was an elderly lady. She passed by my door three times. The first time, I could not move my legs. The next time, I could not open my mouth. The third time, I was so upset with myself that I could cry, but I ran up to her and asked, “Did you join the Young Pioneers when you were young?”
“Yes, I did.”
“We all know that Gods and Buddhas bless and protect people, but the CCP promotes atheism. If you withdraw from the CCP and related organizations, your future will be safe. Do you want me to help you withdraw?”
“Yes, yes,” she said. “Thank you.”
After she left, I returned home with tears running down my face. In order to hear the truth and have a better future, she went back and forth in front of my house three times. I now realized how much my old notions interfered with me and how many sentient beings I had already missed. Master extended the time with tremendous endurance, but I wondered how much time I still had to save them.
I gradually broke through the notions so I could work with practitioners and persevere in bringing awareness of the persecution to people. We went to places that others had not been and posted Dafa posters. In some places, the posters stayed up for three to four months.
When I had a sincere heart to save people, Master would bring them to me. We were also encouraged when people said, “Falun Dafa is great. It is outstanding. We support you!”
My family environment has also improved greatly. We filed a lawsuit against former Communist Party leader Jiang Zemin, who launched the persecution of Dafa. My family all signed their names in support.
I gave my husband the pseudonym “Justice.” Whenever he gets agitated, I would call him by this name, and he would settle down immediately. It worked every time. After numerous tribulations, I have opened up my heart. I can understand others more, including their sadness, worries, and anxiety. I will pay attention so I can look within for shortcomings at all times and truly assimilate to the standard Master requires.
Thank you, Master, for your saving grace!