Eliminating the Communist Party's Influence on My Thoughts
Esteemed Master and fellow practitioners,
I am a Falun Dafa practitioner who was fortunate to begin cultivation in Dafa in 2011.
I was 20 years old when I left China for overseas. During all these years in China, I was influenced by the Party Culture, which was an outcome of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) indoctrination.
Just as my fellow practitioners, I read the two books, the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party and the Chinese language book Dissolving the Party Culture. I was also involved in promoting Shen Yun. All this helped me familiarize myself with traditional Chinese culture.
When comparing traditional culture and the Party culture I finally understood that my mind was still filled with the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) slogans and understandings.
The Party culture substance took hold of me and I am still working on getting rid of my Communist Party indoctrination and correct myself. It is not that I did not recognize this influence in the past, but because I did not take it seriously, I had not eliminated it in its entirety. Therefore, I feel uncomfortable and embarrassed whenever I read about the Party culture in Master's Fa-teachings.
“Sometimes when a media outlet utilizes you or when a project lets you participate, your ways of thinking, those extreme ways of doing things that come from Party culture, your lying, and your halfhearted way of working really exasperate [others].” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2014 San Francisco Fa Conference”)
Whenever I read Master's Fa that addresses the Party culture, I feel ashamed. It was as if Master was talking about me. Unfortunately I felt ashamed only for a little while and did not carefully look at my actual thoughts and conduct. Thus, I did not remove this poison.
When sharing experiences about cultivation during Shen Yun promotions with fellow practitioners, I perceived some horrible and terrible thoughts within me that originated from the Party culture.
Fortunately, I had the opportunity to write an experience-sharing article for this Fa-conference. After putting my thoughts down on paper, I could gradually let go of the Party culture substance and no longer let it control me.
Deceit: A Party Culture Attribute
One incident is carved into my mind. It happened when we promoted Shen Yun in 2015. A potential customer came to our sales booth. She watched the Shen Yun promotional film and was interested in buying two tickets. However, before she placed the order, she wanted to ask her daughter if she wanted to see the performance.
I got nervous and worried that her daughter might not be interested. This thought was wrong, but I did not realize it. A cunning thought occurred to me. I could print the tickets, which meant that she had to buy them. Fortunately, I caught this wrong thought in time. I could not force her to buy tickets. Such a thought is not worthy of a practitioner. While I wavered a fellow practitioner stopped by and I shared my dilemma with her. She told me that such a thought was wrong, which helped me get rid of it and my heart calmed down.
At this moment the lady returned and said that her daughter was not interested in seeing the show, however, she would bring her grandson. She bought two tickets and I was relieved.
Unfortunately, I did not use this incident to search for the root of my deplorable thoughts. However, I could not forget this incident and finally understood the seriousness of cultivation. I had nearly gone awry in this situation.
After some time, I mulled over the incident and realized that my thoughts at the time were based on deceit, falsehood and outright double-dealing, attributes that are widespread in China.
Unfortunately, the above was not the only incident that is stuck in my mind. During the Shen Yun promotion I faced another situation that bothered me for a long time. I did not resolve this problem until I recently sold tickets with a fellow practitioner. Only then did I recognize that some of my thoughts developed because of my exposure to the Party culture.
Practitioners follow a specific sales method for selling seats. If the seat is represented by a colored dot they were for sale, if they were gray, the seats are sold by another booth or were already sold. It made me nervous when a customer asked if these seats were sold. I wanted to answer that they were sold. I thought that this would hasten the customer to buy her tickets because no good seats would be available later. However, this meant that I lied and it goes counter to the Falun Dafa principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. It could harm Shen Yun's reputation if this customer bought the ticket, and realized later that there were other seats still available.
A Western practitioner responded to this question honestly and said that there are other sales efforts who are responsible for a certain number of seats. However, she suggested that these were good seats and if one buys the tickets early one would get a good seat. This way of handling the matter appeared to be straightforward. My way was based on the Party culture, which demands that I get the sale done at any cost.
Worried about Losing Face
There were other incidents that showed me that I still held on to the Party culture.
When I took on a second job, the job helped me realize that the Party culture still governed some of my behavior. Lies, deceit, lack of social cohesion, and everything is fair to achieve one’s goal – the norm in the Party culture, which I still had not let go. When it came to cultivating truthfulness, I was worse than an ordinary person.
I am a salesperson in a boutique that sells a well-known German brand and most of my customers are Chinese tourists. Whenever I did not know an answer, I sometimes told the customer that I did not know and had to find out. However, at times I just gave any response that came to mind. When I asked a colleague later, I found out that I was not always right, but I refused to dig deeper into it because I felt it was trivial.
Reminding myself that I practiced Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance, I felt ashamed of how I handled the situation. Again, I did not take the matter serioussly and my bad habit of not sticking to the truth at times continued.
My German colleagues generally said that they did not know and would try to find out. They were not worried about losing face. To the contrary, I lied because I still was worried about losing face. The Party culture substance was not eliminated completely.
When I come to think of it, I will not admit guilt or accept blame if I do not complete an assignment well. This again is my attachment to not losing face and an outgrowth of my Party culture upbringing.
During this Fa conference, I publicly admit that I had not let go of the Party culture. However, when writing this article, I faced my attachment and the seriousness of this issue. I decided that I truly have to let it go. After all, I am practicing Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance.
Many thanks esteemed Master and fellow practitioners for the opportunity to recognize my shortcomings.
(Presented at the 2016 Falun Dafa Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference in Germany)
Translated from http://de.minghui.org/html/articles/2016/1/13/118666.html